These two paintings are part of my newest series, titled Fragments. I am working on a third painting for the series, titled Fortified. The paintings that make up the series focus on haunting images set in a diseased world. Completely void of figures, the paintings present the viewer with unsettlingly empty spaces that feel post-apocalyptic. A gloved hand fuels a vehicle, a series of trash cans stand in an open field, a dining hall lays imprisoned behind a fence. Torn paper covers layers of the same image seen from different perspectives, all the while emulating the collapsing world. What are these scenes to us if they lack the makers of the scene? What do these man-made creations mean if man is removed?

The world is in chaos. The odd and mundane scenes I am painting take the world of the pandemic and rip apart the many layers tucked underneath. By layering a variety of different forms of paper I am infusing the work with nuanced messages. Sometimes the paper may be black and painted on with white paint, creating a world of inversion; other times it is the greasy paper of takeout bags, fusing the waste of an increased cultural activity with imagery of emptiness. Along with the repeated painted scenes on each layer of paper, text is spread throughout the paintings. From pages in a book to my own personal handwriting, these mutilated blurbs show both my understanding of society and the decay of it.

Fuel is a piece looking into the casual act of filling a tank of gas. In this new and strange world we live in, the actions we often see as commonplace become dangerous and unsettling. Hands are no longer mechanisms to achieve basic tasks, but also carriers of disease. We are haunted by the touch of our own hands just as much as the touch of a stranger. The outside world no longer has moments of peace. It is a deadly frontier and every moment could lead to our demise. This simple act, along with many others, has been perverted. It seems impossible not to be in constant fear of interactions with the outside world.

Forlorn, Oil and Paper on Canvas, 24” x 24”, 2020

With the end of people, who is there to take out the trash? Forlorn examines the institutes of society we take for granted, like the system of waste management that we use. These crates that carry our used products also carry disease. If the garbage man is sick, who takes out the garbage? If we are sick, are we exposing the people that manage the trash of the city? Once people are gone, there will no longer be a need for these trash cans. They will become relics of a time once cherished. As our world crumbles into nothing, the simple desires of fast food and the twenty-something-year-old lifestyle will be distant and petty. It is time to reexamine what is meaningful to us as a society.

As we reach the end of the year, consider what is important to you. In the next painting of this series, I am examining the activity of dining out during the pandemic. It is still completely possible to do so, and many people do, but is it worth it? I miss the way the world was eight months ago. I enjoyed eating out with friends and family, going to an arcade or playing a round of mini golf. I miss traveling without the worry of dying from something I touched in a gas station. Unfortunately, COVID-19 is not going away anytime soon. This is a hard time to live in, but change has never been easy. Once we get out of this, things will be different and we will all be better for it. Don’t forget to show people that you love them, even if you can’t show them in person.

This has been a bumpy ride for a painting. That’s a good thing. I like when things give me a little bit of a challenge. The frustration leads to growth. I have learned quite a bit from this piece.

Continuing from the last post, I layered book pages on top of the canvas and torn black paper. I did so at an angle to keep things looking dynamic. I then traced the projected image over the pasted pages in red so that I could see what I was working with. The text was somewhat disorienting, But I was pleased with the appearance. From here I painted in the true colors of the image I was working with on everything but the hand and the gas pump handle. It was striking to me, so I left it for the time being.

Now for the frustrating part. The black paper tore off very easily. The book pages were difficult in every respect. There was very little grip, the small pages kept the tear from flowing, and I was only able to tear the first layer. If I was able to tear more that a single layer, I would tear the black paper underneath as well. That meant I either tore away too little or too much. I stopped working on it for a few days to do some research on how to solve this problem.

I asked my boss at the sign shop if she had any ideas of what to do. Given she has worked with many kinds of materials both in cases of installing and removing, I figured she had something. She suggested I look into the different processes for removing wallpaper, specifically using a mixture of water and fabric softener. It made sense, though I don’t know who would have discovered this process. Paper often acts as a sort of fabric, so loosening it with fabric softener is part one. Most glue is water-soluble, so once the paper is more responsive to liquids the mixture can work away at the glue underneath. I decided I would give it a shot.

It was not easy, but the mixture worked. On the areas I had already torn away, the mixture allowed me to work away the paper more easily without getting rid of the black layer. The combination of glue, paper, fabric softener, and water created a flexible, plastic-like substance that sort of peeled away like hot vinyl. It took a lot longer to work through, but I was very pleased to have a reliable method for removing pasted paper. Once that part was complete, the painting had become chaotic. The layers were all visible sharp tears and it needed to be balanced.

The next step was to paint a little more on top of the chaos. I finally painted the glove its proper color, then the arm, and then the nozzle. I only painted portions of them so that the layers were still visible but gaps were bridged. I then added colors from the under painting to bring that forward once more, though in a much more understated way. The addition of the darker tones and colors helped to focus the painting, though it is still quite energetic. I added more white line work to again bring the layer forward. I added to the sky with blues and under painting violets, and did the same with the rest of the painting.

This painting is now complete to me… for now. I will let it sit so that I can stare at it and ponder, but I am moving on to another painting. The plan is to continue with this new style and try to develop it into a consistent practice. I think I will call this one Fuel.